Let Go
by shinibana
Summary: Gee, I dunno. It's weird. Sorta Legolas thinking-ish...-_-


Stop, just stop. I don't own it, okay? Don't rub it in! (runs off crying)  
  
Let Go~~~~  
  
I feel as though I keep missing something. Like there's something important that's right in front of me, and I reach for it but just can't quite touch.  
  
It's so close. Where is it? What is it? Should I know? Do I want to know? Where am I going?  
  
Where am I going? I had been asking that of myself for a while now. Perhaps I'm not actually going anywhere in particular, you might say. Not so, I have a destination. I'd always had one, though I never quite realized what it was until I grew closer to it. I, the prince of Mirkwood, was inevitably drawn to the sea.  
  
The sea: a glorious, vast expanse of blue that gave me the queerest sensation as my eyes took it in for the first time. It called to me, telling me, ~This is it; this is where you should be; this is the place.~ I realized then that this feeling had always been there, always saying that, but I was then unable to recognize or comprehend it.  
  
I was in constant paradise from then on when suddenly a new feeling decided to make itself known. It was almost uncomfortable, prickly and prodding, bringing me out of my temporarily perfect world. Though not immediately, I identified it as dissatisfaction. It confused me; why should I be unhappy when I was finally where I wanted to be for supposedly my whole life? Hadn't the sea called to me with such purpose and meaning that it just had to be?  
  
~Not yet, not yet,~ the voices sang. ~Just one more step, reach out your hand, let go, it's time to let go...~  
  
I'm still confused. A grey haze seems to set over my head, and I can't think clearly any more.  
  
I don't want to think. I want to stay in this world on this earth by this sea. I want to be distracted by these voices no more, and I want to live out my life and die of old age like a Man or a Dwarf or an Ent or a Hobbit would. I think. But I can't think, not any more.  
  
What can't I see? What am I missing?  
  
I know what, or rather who I miss right now. I miss my friends, the eight others that banded together in our tightly knit little Fellowship.  
  
One killed in heroic battle; four in peaceful, eternal rest; and three gone to the Grey Havens.  
  
I'm still here. Those few words...they're almost childish. A plea for everyone to turn around and remember the left-behind one.  
  
I'm still here. I'm holding on to the hope that my friends will come back, because I'm not ready to go myself, not yet.  
  
I can't let go, can I? Even now, I cling to a fistful of sand in a tight hold, a fistful of Middle Earth, and I won't let go of even that.  
  
But...  
  
It's time.  
  
I'm here at the Sea, now all I have to do is reach out my hand and take one step further, but I don't know if I can.  
  
I stare at that "glorious, vast expanse" that invited me here in the first place. ~It's time to let go, just one more step,~ the voices chant. One more step...where? Into the unknown. I don't know where I'm going. I don't even know if I'm going anywhere, except that half-meter northeast of my current position. Keep this up and I'll be up to my knees in water when the tide comes in. And suddenly I know where I'm going.  
  
Maybe it's an illusion, but right where I'm facing, in the middle of the Sea, are the Grey Havens. That's where I'm sure Frodo, Sam, and Mithrandir are, and I've got a new feeling--a confident one if not ridiculous--that even Aragorn, Gimli, Merry, Pippin, and Boromir are there too, all waiting for me.  
  
I laugh aloud, no longer confused, but ready and eager instead. Whoever knew the Havens were so close? and yet there they are. I take my one step-a great leap-and reach-  
  
It's so close-  
  
I can almost touch it-  
  
I'm grinning like an idiot-  
  
It's miles away, but it's right there-  
  
My hand opens as my fingers reach out-  
  
Sand, Middle-Earth, falls, but I don't care because I'm not in Middle-Earth any more, so I don't need it...  
  
...I let go.  
  
~~~~What a load of sap-crap...losing my touch here. I got a little weird around the end. Oh well. Review anyway, okay? Because if you don't, I have the ultimate weapon! Mwahahaha!!!!! (holds up fish) Beware the evil herring of DOOM! (courtesy of Aoyama I s'pose...) ...k, I think I just scared off any potential reviewers...anyone? Hello? Don't leave me...! Ohhh, I blew it again, darn. (sulks) 


End file.
